R & R TIPS

While stationed in Germany, we visited the AFRC Recreation Center in Garmisch, while my husband was home on R&R. It was a very nice program and managed well. It was a Package deal incl. meals and limited to two or three days i believe. It took a lot of stress of the families, because there were a lot of activities we could participate in (free of charge). ~ Marion

The best tips I can give is to make it all about each other. Make this time enjoyable for the two of you (and the kids if you have them). Let it be as stress free as possible. They already deal with enough stress they don't need any added. Have fun. My husband and I took a vacation both times to our favorite spot in California. Communication is the key. If you have solid communication during your deployment (time apart) then when he comes home there isn't anything to worry about. Just because they are deployed does not get them out of there husbandly responsibilities. Talk about your feelings, they don't know how you feel unless you tell them. Plan a lot of alone time. Don't try to go and see everyone in such a short time. It is not possible and you are the one who is going to miss out. ~Holly

This is now my husband's 2nd deployment to Iraq.  For my R&R tip, I suggest that both sides communicate to each other what their ideas and expectations are for the 2 weeks that they are together.  If one side wants to take a trip and visit with family and friends and the other just wants quiet at home time, then the family together needs to work out a compromise.  There definitely needs to be some quality time with each of the immediate family members so that everyone feels reconnected and recharged.  ~Jenny

I learned from the first time my husband was deployed was to make R&R all about him. I know most spouses are going to have a whole list of things they want to do while their significant other is home. I learned over there he/she always has someone telling them where to go and what do to and how to do it. R&R should be just that. Rest and relaxation for them. He/she may not want to run off and do this or do that. Give them some time to put their feet up and take a breath before rushing them off. Be at their beck and call for just a little while. They'll appreciate it all the more.~ Leanne

The biggest concern for me when it comes to R&R is in making sure that children (especially young children) know that it is temporary. The hardest thing to do is to prepare children for another goodbye. I think by explaining to the children ahead of time that although Daddy/ Mommy is coming, that their stay is only for a very short time. I still remember the scene with my then 3 year old daughter at the airport. She was handling it extremely well until my husband had to board the airplane. And she just lost it. She cried so much and I felt so bad for her. And it made it that much harder for my husband to leave and I could see it in his face. Thinking back now, I should have explained it to my daughter that Daddy was only home for a little while. Instead, we kind of got used to having him around that I forgot to prepare her for the inevitable. Other than that, just make sure you make every minute count because it goes by so fast. ~ Jeannie

Try as hard as you can not to countdown the days that you have left. I know it's almost impossible, but for those two weeks, truly try to live in the moment. ~ Nicole

1) Don't have great expectations of the first few days being a whirlwind of romance.....they have been travelling for days, possibly, not to mention the drastic time change they are going through....so don't be surprised if all they want to do is crash on THEIR sofa, in THEIR bed, in THEIR house, you get the idea.

2) Again, they've just spent several LONG hours in airplanes and airports and are going to have to do it again on their return......don't be surprised if going to another island or anything dealing with yet another trip to the airport, isn't very appealing at all.

3) If you want a romantic getaway, or even a family getaway, the Hale Koa offers 30% off everything when you show your paperwork proving that you are on R&R.

4) Just as the days and weeks leading up to the deployment were stressful, again, so are the days that you have together on R&R. You spend so much time looking forward to R&R that we don't think much about when they finally do get home, now you're focusing on when they have to leave again...and they are too. So don't be surprised if you find yourself snapping at each other....because the situation is stressful and as before, out of both of your control.

5) DON'T...I repeat, DON'T let any other family come and visit. This time with you, your spouse and your children is so limited and precious that the last thing any of you will want is to have to share them. And chances are, your deployed spouse just wants to come home and relax and spend time with you......not play tour guide for visiting friends and family. Just find a polite way to say that they need to wait until the deployment ends. If you don't think that will work....LIE. Tell them you've already made plans to go somewhere or whatever you can think of. ~ Heather Goodier

Just let the hubby "BE"....
Never get in his way, and never never start to ARGUE... time is precious so make every second count.... 2 weeks is not even enough.
Always be there for him... for he needs you the most.
When there's family time... enjoy each other's company and never leave the kids out.   There's family time and there's wife and husband time...  so just make everything HAPPY AND ENJOYABLE...like I said 2 weeks is not enough..........
LOVE ONE ANOTHER.........& COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER....

Keep your expectations of the visit from getting too high. You may have visions of a wonderful, romantic 2nd honeymoon, only to be disappointed when your spouse is tired just wants to relax at home. Just enjoy your time as a family. ~Vanessa